Life is always on our side even when it doesn’t feel like it is

I can say that with some ease now, but I remember a time when it didn’t seem like that at all. I was in my mid 40’s, I had a demanding, interesting and well-paying job, an active community and family life and a large home to keep clean and organised. It looked like success but deep down I felt lonely, and stuck in a complex and meaningless life.

I remember one day saying out loud with a great degree of desperation that “all I want right now is to just sit on the porch and enjoy looking at the garden”. Well they say be careful what you ask for, right? During the next few months I spent many afternoons on that porch while I was off work and going through a chemotherapy program.

During those few months, I read many books on topics like self-healing, nutrition, mediation, and yoga to mention a few. I learned and practiced many new ways of approaching life that helped me see things differently and make changes in my life. One exercise, in particular, had a profound impact on me, it had something to do with the psychology of illness. It asked that you write down 5 things that your illness has allowed you to do that you felt you couldn’t do before. To my surprise they were all the simple things in life, and all very “do-able”, such as sitting on the porch to enjoy the garden, spending more time with my son, and just doing things I wanted to do rather what I thought I had to do. So why was I trying to be “super woman” and then feeling bad about myself and my life because I couldn’t cut it as “super woman”?

Well, looking back now I see that life was on my side even when I wasn’t, it gave me the space to evaluate what was important to me and get clear on who I really wanted to be. I realised, I don’t have to be “super woman” and save the world. I am just responsible for how I show up for my part in this world, and I was the only person with the power to change what I wanted to have in my life.

You may think that now my life is all roses, no, not at all, I still have challenges ever day but I now look at them in a different way. I see them as platforms for thriving; for me, my family and my community.

So now, I feel life is on my side and when it feels like it is not I know it is time to create some space. Take time to listen with trust, evaluate and re-design my actions, thoughts and beliefs, and go forward knowing it is just the next step, because I am work-in progress.

So, don’t wait for the New Year to set resolutions. Kick start your year with what you want today.

Looking to get what you want out of life contact me