Tag Archives: Life Coaching

What do you want to win in the game of life right now?

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Getting ready

Are you looking to take your game to a new and more creative level. What do you need to do to play to win at whatever is important to you right now?

Maybe a new job, a new business venture or breaking through a personal challenge…

Pursuing what we want is an adventure, it can be fun and challenging. At the same time it can be hard to face the challenges on our own, we get pulled and pushed by many different pressures in life.

So, what can you do get clarity and turn challenges into opportunities for learning and growth?

Here are some steps to get you started:

  • Be curious and excited about uncertainty – If you already know it, you can’t learn and grow
  • Be your own best friend – give yourself what you need to be the best you can be
  • Know the person you want to be – you are your own hero
  • Show up with all of you – bring all of who you are to everything you do

Need some support in your hero’s journey? As a coach I will be there to celebrate your wins, challenge you and encourage you. I will also be there to shine a light so you can see your path more clearly.

Looking for a new edge in the game of life, contact me

Are your expectations keeping you unhappy?

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I recently heard someone saying that “pain exist between reality and expectation”, making us unhappy in the present moment.

This posed a few questions for me:

  • I had grown up to believe that it is good to set high expectations. Otherwise, how would I grow and improve myself?
  • what about the “no pain no gain” theory?
  • Is it not through the discomfort we feel now that we make changes to have a different future?

Then it occurred to me that there is difference between expectations of what is now versus what we hold up as a future vision.

The gap between expectations of now and our present reality causes us more pain than the reality itself.

When things don’t happen as we want them to, we generally tend to see it as failure. Then, we blame ourselves, or blame others, and sometimes we even project our thoughts to some future “failure”. So now what is our state of mind? Not only are we unhappy with the outcome, we are unhappy with ourselves, our friends, co-workers, family members and paralysed with a fear of some future event that hasn’t even happened.

So how can we reduce the unhappiness and increase the chances of learning and growing?

Well, I know it is not easy, it takes practice, so here are some tips I have used:

  • Stop and become the observer – this allows you take a step back and see the event more clearly
  • Accept and make peace with the “now” – see and feel what is happening, including the feelings of disappointment
  • Let go of the desire to blame, self-criticise or change the past
  • Think of possible ways forward – what would you do differently, what could get in your way, how do your values come into play
  • Choose the way you want to be and feel
  • Take action accordingly

If you have tried these and want to share the results with me or have thoughts on this please contact me.

Life is always on our side

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Life is always on our side even when it doesn’t feel like it is

I can say that with some ease now, but I remember a time when it didn’t seem like that at all. I was in my mid 40’s, I had a demanding, interesting and well-paying job, an active community and family life and a large home to keep clean and organised. It looked like success but deep down I felt lonely, and stuck in a complex and meaningless life.

I remember one day saying out loud with a great degree of desperation that “all I want right now is to just sit on the porch and enjoy looking at the garden”. Well they say be careful what you ask for, right? During the next few months I spent many afternoons on that porch while I was off work and going through a chemotherapy program.

During those few months, I read many books on topics like self-healing, nutrition, mediation, and yoga to mention a few. I learned and practiced many new ways of approaching life that helped me see things differently and make changes in my life. One exercise, in particular, had a profound impact on me, it had something to do with the psychology of illness. It asked that you write down 5 things that your illness has allowed you to do that you felt you couldn’t do before. To my surprise they were all the simple things in life, and all very “do-able”, such as sitting on the porch to enjoy the garden, spending more time with my son, and just doing things I wanted to do rather what I thought I had to do. So why was I trying to be “super woman” and then feeling bad about myself and my life because I couldn’t cut it as “super woman”?

Well, looking back now I see that life was on my side even when I wasn’t, it gave me the space to evaluate what was important to me and get clear on who I really wanted to be. I realised, I don’t have to be “super woman” and save the world. I am just responsible for how I show up for my part in this world, and I was the only person with the power to change what I wanted to have in my life.

You may think that now my life is all roses, no, not at all, I still have challenges ever day but I now look at them in a different way. I see them as platforms for thriving; for me, my family and my community.

So now, I feel life is on my side and when it feels like it is not I know it is time to create some space. Take time to listen with trust, evaluate and re-design my actions, thoughts and beliefs, and go forward knowing it is just the next step, because I am work-in progress.

So, don’t wait for the New Year to set resolutions. Kick start your year with what you want today.

Looking to get what you want out of life contact me

Self-Care

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Is taking care of yourself being selfish?

I always encourage my clients to practice self-care, and I often get the response “but isn’t that being selfish”?

And yes, I know exactly what they mean! There was a time in my life that I thought I could be everything to everybody, my life was a combination of roles I played; a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a worker, a volunteer etc., etc. you get the drift?  I was so busy focusing on the “doing” that I didn’t even stop long enough to see if it was really what I wanted to do, if it was sustainable or if it was even the best way for me to support my family, friends and community.

It didn’t occur to me then, that for me to be at the top of my game I needed to look after my body, mind and soul.

Today I have a different outlook, I understand that taking care of my physical and emotional needs is my responsibility. It allows me to be at my best and keeps me healthy, and as a result, I am now better equipped to support my family, friends, and community in a more sustainable and effective way. So, am I hitting the top of my game every moment and every day? No not really, but I am certainly more aware of the signs of getting out of sync with myself, and I know that some gentle self-care will bring me back to my best version.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish, you wouldn’t expect your car to keep on running if you didn’t put fuel in it and maintain it well, would you?

What do you need to do for yourself to be your best?

Here are some tips, see if they work for you:

  • Look after your body – with food that nourishes you, sleep that refreshes you, and exercise that is playful
  • Take care of your mind – give it challenges, learn something new, check-in regularly to see if your belief system supports you
  • Be a friend to your emotions – feel them, reject the victim role, talk to yourself as if you are you best friend, and upgrade your relationships
  • Align yourself with your values – choose to do work that is meaningful to you and gives you sense of purpose, connect with others

Looking for an opportunity to improve your self-care contact me

Move forward with intention

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Ways to move forward with intention

Have you ever felt that your days are busy with doing all that you can do, for your family, your friends, your community and it is still not enough? Do you sometimes hear a voice say “what about me”?

Well there was a time I heard that voice softly and thought it was not important enough, until one day I heard it loud and clear. Now I know that when I focus my actions on my intentions, rather than outcomes, I can move through life with much more ease.

These are some tips, try them and see if they work for you:

  • Stop doing what you should, focus on what you need/want – what you need will restore you to your best version, and will give you more energy to give to yourself and others
  • Choose to live by your own values – when you live by your own values, you act in congruence with yourself, there will be no need to justify, explain or resist, you are living who you are
  • Choose your work so that you can be all of yourself – when you work at something that you love, there is no resistance, you can give it all
  • Treat your body like a temple, so it is a source of vitality – your body is what does the physical work for you, look after it so it can provide you with more of what you want
  • Expand your community so you can create synergy – by connecting and sharing with others we are able to get and create more
  • Thank people who have created richness in your life – we all need connection what better way to connect with others that have contributed to your wellbeing

It is always much easier to act and move forward when you have set your intentions on having a life focused on the wellbeing of you and the people that are important to you.

Looking for ways move forward contact me

Design your life

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Ways to design your life

Well I have always considered myself skilled at planning and implementing. I remember even as a child I gave everything a lot of thought before I took action and as a result I mostly got what I set out to achieve, but it didn’t seem to make me happy. Interestingly enough I always surrounded myself with friends that took chances, did what they wanted, and they did not necessary get what they wanted either.

 Now, many years and challenges later I have realised that, by applying my planning skills to what I truly want, rather than towards what I think I should want, I willingly take chances to pursue what is really important to me.

Here are some practices that support me in creating and designing a life that works for me:

  • Establish strong boundaries to protect the soul – when you set boundaries, you are communicating clearly what is ok for you and what it is not, it is not about setting boundaries for other people
  • Raise your standards to reflect who you are – be true to yourself, act your best version of who you are, not what somebody else says you should be
  • Restore your integrity, know what is important to you – when you focus on what is important to you, you have more energy to act upon it because you don’t spend energy justifying, explaining, resisting, or arguing
  • Make self care a priority – self care is not about being selfish, it is about replenishing and maintaining yourself to a high degree so you can be the best version of yourself, it is just like maintaining your car, your home etc
  • Go for quality versus quantity – choose action that enhances the quality of what you do, what you have, what you give, it has more impact
  • Create 10 daily habits that restore you to who you are – these are not what you “should” do, these are part of self care so you can be restored to your best

When you are clear on what works for you and what doesn’t you are better able to create a life that best contributes to your wellbeing and the wellbeing of people that are important to you.

Would you like to work with me on designing your life, Contact Me

Getting clarity

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Ways to clear your space

You probably think this is easier said than done, or what does that mean anyway?   

Well for me it means taking some time away from my busy day, where nothing is urgent and there are no demands. It doesn’t have to be a long process, really. It can take you as long as it takes you to brush your teeth or take a shower, better still why not use your time in the shower to reflect on one point every day?

You never know at the end of the week you may have more insight into what works well for you and what doesn’t.

  • Identify and zap what rattles you versus tolerating or blaming – sometimes we put up with things even if they are not working towards our wellbeing or we blame others for what is happening that we don’t like, ask yourself what are these and what is in my power to change, maybe you can just look at the situation in a different way
  • Resolve unfinished business versus just finishing it – if you have something unfinished make sure it is resolved for good not just finished so it gets off the list
  • Be selective about who or what comes into your space – whether it is your thoughts, or your physical space, be aware what you allow to enter that space
  • Understand and take care of core needs – this goes beyond air, food, water, sleep it includes what makes your heart happy and healthy too
  • Simplify your life – when life gets complex for you ask yourself, how does this contribute to my wellbeing

So now it’s time to clear your space.

Need more help Contact Me